"One thing I do know is that it makes me wonder if I "have problems at home" but it seems to me that a lot of other people have it a lot worse. ...My dad said, 'There are other people who have it a lot worse.'" (p. 5)
"I miss him terribly, which is strange, because we never really talked much when he was still here. We still don't talk, to be honest." (p. 9)
"I have finished To Kill a Mockingbird. It is now my favorite book of all time, but then again, I always think that until I read another book." (p. 9)
"There is a lot to tell you about the last two week. A lot of it is good, but a lot of it is bad. Again, I don't know why this always happens." (p. 14)
"You know . . . a lot of kids at school hate their parents. Some of them got hit. And some of them got caught in the middle of wrong lives. Some of them are trophies for their parents to show the neighbors like ribbons or gold stars. And some of them just wanted to drink in peace.
For me personally, as much as I don't understand my mom and dad and as much as I feel sorry for both of them, sometimes, I can't help but love them very much." (p. 17-18)
"It would be very nice to have a friend again. I would like that even more than a date." (p. 21)
"Masturbation is when you rub your genitals until you have an orgasm. Wow!
I thought that in those movies and television shows when they talk about having a coffee break that they should have a masturbation break. But then again, I think this would decrease productivity." (p. 21)
"' Do you always think this much, Charlie?'
'Is that bad?' I just wanted someone to tell me the truth.
'Not necessarily. It's just that sometimes people use thought to participate in life.'
'Is that bad?'
'Yes.'" (p. 24)
"'We accept the love we think we deserve.'" (p. 24)
"My mom chooses her battles carefully, and I can tell you one thing about my family. When my mom does say something, she always gets her way." (p. 25)
"'Not everyone has a sob story, Charlie, and even if they do, it's no excuse.'"(p. 28)
"Sometimes, I read a book, and I think I am the people in the book. Also, when I write letters, I spend the next two days thinking about what I figured out in my letters. I do not know if this is good or bad." (p. 28)
"I wish I could describe this is a little more nicely without using words like penis, but that was the way it was" (p. 31)
"'He's a wallflower.'
'You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand.'" (p. 37)
"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite." (p. 39)
"I just think that it's bad when a boy looks at a girl and thinks that the way he sees the girl is better than the girl actually is. And I think it's bad when the most honest way a boy can look at a girl is through a camera." (p. 48-49)
"Like the movie where the guy meets a smart girl who wears a lot of sweaters and drinks cocoa. They talk about books and issues and kiss in the rain. I think something like that would be very good for him, especially if the girl were unconventionally beautiful." (p. 51)
"I've seen pictures of him [Dad] when he was young. He was a very handsome man. I don't know any other way to put it. He looked like all old pictures look. Old pictures look very rugged and young, and the people in the photographs always seem a lot happier than you are.
My mother looks beautiful in old pictures. ...Sometimes, I look at my parents now and wonder what happened to make them the way they are." (p. 52)
"I just hope I remember to tell my kids that they are as happy as I look in my old photographs. And I hope that they believe me." (p. 53)
"I don't know if it's better to have your kids be happy and not go to college. I don't know if it's better to be close with your daughter or make sure that she has a better life than you do. I just don't know." (p. 59-60)
"The outside lights were on, and it was snowing, and it looked like magic. Like we were somewhere else. Like we were someplace better." (p. 65)
"I think it was the first time in my life I ever felt like I looked "good". Do you know what I mean? That nice feeling when you look in the mirror, and your hair's right for the first time in your life?" (p. 67)
"I want to make sure that the first person you kiss loves you." (p. 70)
"I walked over to the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of little kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to have to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding was always enough, but it isn't." (p. 73-74)
"It's kind of like when you look at yourself in the mirror and you say your name. And it gets to a point where none of it seems real." (p. 74)
"I just wanted to know what to buy my dad because I love him. And I don't know him. And he doesn't talk about things like that." (p. 77)
"That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this." (p. 94)
"I guess what I'm saying is that this all feels very familiar. But it's not mine to be familiar about. I just know what another kid has felt this. ...And all the books you've read have been read by other people. And all the songs you've loved have been heard by other people. And that girl that's pretty to you is pretty to other people." (p. 96)
"I feel great! I really mean it. I have to remember this for the next time I'm having a terrible week. Have you ever done that? You feel really bad, and then it goes away, and you don't knwo why. I try to remind myself when I feel great like this that there will be another terrible week coming someday, so I should store up as many great details as I can, so during the next terrible week, I can remember those details and believe that I'll feel great again. It doesn't work a lot, but I think it's very important to try." (p. 103)
"She said that with a girl...you shouldn't tell her she looks pretty. You should tell her now nice her outfit is because he outfit is her choice whereas her face isn't." (p. 112)
"That's when she really started crying. I didn't want to make her feel worse, so I turned to leave her alone. That's when my sister started hugging me. She didn't say anything. She just hugged me tight and wouldn't let go. So, I hugged her back. I twas weird, too, because I've never hugged my sister." (p. 116)
"I just wish that God or my parents or Sam or my sister or someone would just tell me what's wrong with me. Just tell me how to be different in a way that makes sense. To make this all go away. And disappear. I know that's wrong because it's my responsibility, and I know that things get worse before they get better..., but this is a worse that feels too big." (p. 139)
"Because things change. And friends leave. And life doesn't stop for anybody." (p. 145)
"I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them." (p. 211)
"I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have. Good and bad. ...Maybe it's good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. ...Because it's okay to feel things. And be who you are about them." (p. 212)